Thursday, May 26, 2011

Don't I Know You?

Yes, you sat next to me in four classes and I think we barely exchanged four sentences the whole Sophmore year of high school.


Why, I do believe I was in your wedding party.


Um, we played Umpaloompa's together in Mrs. Lesser's play in 6th grade, right?

Well, it started with that email yesterday, and now I have THREE old classmates who have hired me for extreme cakes. I guess they underestimated this little nerdy goth chick from way back in the day! I gotta say, the buzz on Social Network Unnamed was probably what prompted this surge in orders.

I know I have one other old classmate from 9th grade trying to sling decorated cakes out there, but I recognize that style anywhere. A $25 class at Micheal's or AC Moore for Wilton Cake Decorating. Hey, I don't knock it. My mom got her start there (which got her to nag me to start doing it) and my mom's gumpaste flowers kick ASS. I read a few books, but my style is self-taught. I didn't take the professional cake decorating classes in school. I was in savory culinary classes with only one module of pastry.

I'm proud of myself. I've come a long way since I dropped out of college. Some people live through the things they learn in school. I live through the experiences I've been lucky/unlucky to have through life.

Anyway, my gaudy labels caused quite a stir as I made my way into work today. (Late, as usual.) I gave out 5 business cards, and got many compliments on the design! Thank you, Graphics Guru! I guess the dark, thick purple border didn't send them running, after all.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Let Bygones Be Bygones

I have no clue if I spelled bygones wrong, so let's just get that out of the way.

Five minutes ago, I just read an email from an ex-friend whom I have not spoken to in over 3 years. We used to be tight. Hell, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. Because 95% of all women are catty, insecure, and obnoxious- things didn't end well. She went her way and I went mine. She trotted on to married bliss, now complete with a new baby in tow. I went on to have an awesome/painful rollercoaster romance with her old crush- and the rest is history.

Well, she just sent me a friendly email, hinting that she needs a cake for July. I know July is her baby's first birthday. She said her biggest regret is kicking me off her wedding cake gig, and she would love it if I would be part of this milestone event in her life. I know it's the baby cake.

I'm so glad to say that without a shadow of anger, bitterness, or grump- I was really happy to get her email, and I am going to do this cake for her.

Does it mean we're friends again or even close acquaintances? Probably not. I'm not exactly the best person to rekindle old relationships with. My bridges not only burn, but they disintegrate into miniscule particles and disappear into portals never to be heard from again. In short, I'm just not very good at this whole "people" thing.

I've been really bummed since this weekend. Besides a bad business deal bombing, a cake collapsing right in front of me, my customer and her guests and then a nasty-gram being chucked at me- I felt like there really wasn't anything I was doing right. Every time I felt like the light at the end of the tunnel was getting near- that fucking light turned out to be a train headed straight for me. This email didn't make me feel good because she wrote me and apologized for her past mistakes. I made mistakes, too. I felt good because it felt GREAT not to hate anyone and to honestly feel at peace with someone I thought I would never look back at again.

I do believe this little Kat is growing up. =)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

WooHoo or Poop?

Well, my new labels came in. =/ Take a gander:

Close Up



On the box


How it was packaged

As I already saw from the proof they sent me back, they thickened the purple border in order to give some allowance for the bleed or where they're going to cut the label. I was hoping it wouldn't turn out so thick, but there it is, and I have to say I really don't like it. I liked the way it was done originally; the way I sent it to them, but I wasn't able to explain that to them properly. That's my fault.

The other issue I has was that I THOUGHT I had ordered them on the roll. I had looked at so many printing sights and uploaded so many label templates that I could be mistaken, and I may be thinking of another label company that offered them on the roll. So, that's my fault, too. However, the packaging was so shoddy, my labels were coming out of the side seams when it arrived. I'm sure if I wanted to count them, I won't have 1000 labels in this box. If I didn't dislike this label so much, I'd throw a fit about it and bitch until they sent me the missing labels, but I honestly don't love these labels, so the less of them there are, the fewer boxes I'll have to stick them on.

I don't want to waste the paper they're printed on or the $70 I already spent on them. I'll suck it up and just use them. I have to say that the matte finish isn't winning me over, either. I'll give it a chance and just use them. I am quite underwhelmed. 

Am I just being a whiner about these labels? Do they look as hideous as I see them to be or am I just overreacting because I didn't get what I originally wanted? =( I'm really not happy.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Black & Blue & Red All Over

Another sick day from the day job. Ah, I have a million things I could do today. I know I just had a weekend, but I spent every single waking hour- since I left work on Friday-baking, decorating, networking, and delivering. I haven't had a crazy set of days like this in a long while. My cooking class series is over, and I think it went very well. I'm hoping to get some more work like that from the people who attended the classes. I was very nervous at first. I worried my stomach into knots and ulcers. I was so fucking sick with anxiety over fucking up that I didn't want to write about it or tweet about it in fear of jinxing myself into fucking up. It all worked out, though! Thank goodness!

Therein lies my problem. No one is as critical of me than myself. I don't give myself enough credit. I lack the confidence other skilled people have, and that's what holds me back. I could go on and on about all the times I've sold myself short because of this, but anyone who knows me already knows all this. It's not a new story. It's not just an annoying trait, it's something that people get impatient with after a while. No one likes a wet noodle. If you're constantly trying to convince someone of their own self-worth, after a while, this isn't someone you want to spend much time with anymore.

I know I feel like that. I care about my friends. I want to help them. I want to take their problems and fix them. However, after many thankless efforts, I get impatient, fed-up, and I walk away without another look backwards. Last year, I was in a place where my business was just treading water. I was spending a fortune on therapy. I was working out like a fiend. I was on one crazy diet after another. My money woes were completely out of control. And in the middle of all that, I was struggling with a relationship that brought me just an many tears as it brought me happiness.

I was a hot mess. I knew where I wanted to go and I had no clue why I wasn't getting there even though I felt like I was working so hard. I was spinning my wheels, burning up my engine, and and ending up getting no where.

Eventually, after I dragged my depressed ass out of bed, I started to implement all the changes I always talked about making. I cut out more people who have only helped in dragging me down. I stopped wasting money drinking my sorrows away. I started to stay away from problematic environments that don't foster a positive direction. That's not to say I didn't make some mistakes trusting certain snake-oil salesmen, but no one ever said the road to success isn't peppered with potholes. Right now, I think the few people I have near me are good to me.

No one wants to hear about their negative traits. Hell, as much as I harped on wanting people to be brutally honest with me, I did not take kindly when it actually happened. I got defensive, I got offensive, and I would block and delete anyone who dared tell me I was less than perfect. With a little birdie whispering in my ear in a more gentle tone, I realized what I was doing and was able to mature a little more in order to be more open minded and receptive of constructive criticism.

And I am thankful to all those people who have come back into my life to help me when I needed help. I'm thankful for those who have dosed out the tough love as well as the squishy love in my times of sorrow. I'm grateful to those who have made me laugh, and those who have been there when I needed a cry. These people are few and rare. But, I am well aware that I am lucky to have them.

BLACK
I thought slowly incorporating Joel back into Queenie Cakes would be several steps forward. I would have someone I trust helping me and watching my back. It also seemed like it would lead to more business coming in. He's sent me several lucrative gigs since I've started talking to him again. It's also made me more confident taking on small catering gigs since I have him as my co-chef. He works hard, he works fast, and we flow great together in the kitchen. Neither one of us is trying to be the star. We do what we have to do without clawing at each other to garner the spotlight. There is no room for TWO giant ego's in the kitchen. And that's what made our partnership fantastic.

What makes our partnership unsuccessful? Our past. It was a nasty, violent, messy breakup, followed by short bursts of trying to try again, ending with me deciding to abandon that particular dream when it was clear I wasn't the same girl he left behind. Time and circumstances will change a person. It changed me. Joel was not as willing to accept it, and he went through a short period of obsessive sinister behavior which eventually lead me to cut him off permanently and take out a restraining order.

To make a long story short, I gave him another shot and pulled back again because he was trying to recreate a past that I have already filed away in old scrapbooks. I gave him another shot last week, and my friends were more than vocal about this being a mistake given his behavior in the past. I did what I wanted anyway, and shook my head in disgust when it was clear that everyone was right and I was wrong...again.

He talked about working a gig out in PA in June. Besides the desserts and cakes, he asked if I wouldn't mind being his sous chef with some of the savory dishes. That meant a bigger cut for me. This was going to be a huge event, and I voiced my concerns about not being able to do it with just the two of us. He insisted it would be fine, and even suggested that I tend bar to be able to charge another $200 for myself. When it came down to details, he wanted to share a room together since we would have to spend a night or two out there. That's where I put my foot down.

Despite my best efforts to keep things platonic and on a business level, it's plain to see that he won't let go of the notion of a reconnection. Any man who can lay down each night with one woman, and pledge his love to another is not someone I will ever be able to trust 100% EVER. Scratch a liar, find a thief. I know Joel better than anyone else in this world, and a little part of me will always love him and look out for him. Keeping him around like a pet to run around and do my bidding because I know he will do it without question is cruel and selfish. Just because others have been that wicked to me doesn't give me the right to do it to him. And I know for sure that we cannot work together the way I hoped. Hey, no one can ever say I don't give people their fair share of chances. He'll always be someone I can call if I need him. He knows I would do the same for him. Unfortunately, our potential working relationship is dead and buried.

Blue
I used to get very defensive and angry when someone would point out my flaws in public for all the world to see. Then I realized they are not doing it for the sake of the world to notice, but for me to open my eyes and see for myself. Once I got past my wounded pride and my hurt feelings, it's been easier to hear what my friends were saying and to see the truth for myself.

I say that I want to be self-sufficient and independent, but I reach backwards for help from people who also bring back some of my greatest sorrows. There are unhealthy reasons why I keep seeking solutions that some would say is a double-edged blade. I have the comfort of being able to trust where the help is coming from, but it's like ripping open a wound that has taken so long to heal. And I think that's where my friends get fed up with me. Why keep revisiting painful places?

I don't know what I should say about that comment left on my blog yesterday morning. There was obviously some pricked feelings over something written, and I'm guessing it was enough of an offense to bring someone out in such a way to defend himself. I don't want to speak for anyone or presume to know what someone else is thinking or feeling. I will say that I think that written words can often be misinterpreted when you cannot hear the tone behind them or you are not aware of the nature of the person writing, and offense can be taken where none is meant.

How many of us have been angered by a text that was sent in jest or read sarcasm in a sincere apology? How many times have quarrels been sparked by some comment posted on an unnamed social network that was meant to tease but only served to wound someone's feelings?

I've done my share of deleting, blocking, answering, excusing, fighting, snapping back, and apologizing. I thought I purged my blog of problematic people who have left anonymous venom on my posts or immature jabs at other people who come through to read and leave their opinion. I admit that I have had to be more open-minded with people who have expressed views that are different from my own. Instead of deleting, I've learned to read what is being said without taking it personally. There's plenty of room for me to respond with my own argument. The challenge is doing it without sounding like an immature bitch.

As far as yesterday goes, I think malice was read in something that was not meant to be malicious, and the response was a lot more extreme than was necessary. But, we cannot measure what someone else is feeling without being in that person's shoes.

I'm going to leave that issue with this. The couple of people who do leave me comments every now and again know me outside this space. If you feel slighted, if you feel as though you're personally being attacked, if you feel angered by something I wrote or something someone else wrote- Tell ME. Email me, text me, call me, or whatever- but talk to ME. Slap fighting over blog comments is just as futile as fighting over Twitter. If you want to address an issue than be an adult and talk to me about it.

No one is here to hurt anyone's feelings or throw anyone up on the dartboard to be shot at. I had a disgustingly crazy work-weekend, and after a huge disappointment yesterday, that comment was not the nicest thing to read at the end of a Blue day.

Red
Three whole days on my feet and rolling out fondant in less than ideal conditions have left me quite broken. This cold, damp weather does not help my injured back, either. Every muscle in my 32 1/2 year old body is moaning and groaning something fierce. I had to take a day off my day job today. With my contract being in jeopardy and the possibility of unemployment looming menacingly overhead, this wasn't a good day to take off, but fuck it. I'm no superhero. And, today, I'm feeling every bit as mortal as anyone can.

You know what would have been great today? A nice leisurely lunch with a friend. That would have been awesome. Alas, I find myself short of luncheon kinda friends, and I think I'll probably just have to get used to it. My girlfriends are moving out of the city one after the other. I think it's just that little push I need to keep things moving. I miss them. I wish them the best of luck, and I hope they find what they're seeking. At the end of the day, isn't that all what we want for one another?

So, that's the Black and Blue and Red weekend that I've had. I do appreciate those who want the best for me. Real friends are hard to come by. A high number of contacts on your social network does not always equate a high number of friends. I've witnessed someone boast a high number of "friends" but who ultimately came through for them during their low moments? ONE person. I have 436 people on my business line contact list right now. I doubt I'd call any one of them right now for some cheering up. I'm not really one who feels comfortable reaching out when I need someone. I guess that part of me is still broken. When you've had the hand you're reaching for come out and smack you or stab you in the back, it makes you guarded. Some people understand, but most don't. But, that's just another wrinkle in my life. Whatever.

Let's just establish my one and only rule on this blog, and I implore you all to abide by it. Thank you!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

It's OK

Silence is the universal refuge, the sequel to all dull discourses and all foolish acts, a balm to our every chagrin, as welcome after satiety as after disappointment.  ~Henry David Thoreau

It's been quite a busy weekend full of many disappointments and a couple of victories. Once I've been caught up on at lest 4 hours of straight sleep, some physical healing, and general mental rest I'll be back to update all my fiends on the latest happenings. There's been plenty going on all in a very short stance of time. 


It takes a lot to see malice in a handful of nothing. Perhaps we're all suffering from a huge dose of paranoia. Maybe a break from some ill-attained vices may help free us of imagined demons. 


I dunno. All I know is that I know nothing. And, with that, I'll let my body heal, let my mind rest, and pray to any spiritual being (that  may or may not be in existence) that I appeal to an inner balance to seek the wisdom to know when to fight, and when to walk away.


You all know what your truth is. Let's not try and change a black sky to purple.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Thinking Big When You Can Only Afford Small

I haven't been printing labels since I ran out in February. I haven't had the chance to get to Staples to buy another package or two, and since my rift with the monsters at home, the printer and the home pc it's attached to has been sort of off-limits in an unspoken way. There are places like Kinkos where I can pay to print. I just wonder if it ends up costing me a lot more in the long run to do things like that.

I asked the person who does my graphics to tweak my label for me. It's hard asking a business favor from someone who isn't charging you. Unfortunately, I'm the kind of person who can keep tweaking the hell out of something over and over and over. Politeness and embarrassment won out, and after two requests for a couple of changes, I accepted the favor rather gratefully and assured myself that sometimes it's best to leave certain things to the experts.

With printers being dirt cheap these days, I considered purchasing a new printer/scanner thingy for less than $100 for my own personal label-making use. After discussing this with my mom, she pointed out that the labels I was buying at retail prices, the ink I would be paying for again and again and again would eventually make my $100 printer cost more than just having my labels printed professionally in bulk.

Surprisingly, it took me a few days to find a good label printer. Ultra pro label makers throw around terms like four color process or UV coating or other printing terminology that I really don't understand just reading. I'm a hands-on girl. I need to see and feel and have something explained to me with the example in my hands. The label makers at the trade shows I attended were always very helpful when it came to those things. Reading about something I know very little about on the internet is difficult for someone like me. I guess that means I have a limited imagination.

Yesterday, I stumbled on UPrinting. The site was VERY easy to use. They gave me a free proof within an hour. The prices are fair compared to many other sites I visited. The proof they sent back was tweaked further. They explained they had to thicken the dark purple border to account for the bleed. I debated how I was supposed to tell them that I only wanted a thin dark purple border like the original, but I don't understand bleed dimensions and I wasn't sure how to communicate that I didn't mind a white border or space around the original design. I left the proof as-is, and ordered 1000 labels.

It cost me $70.36, which includes shipping and all for 1000 3" square labels. It's 70lb matte paper (whatever that means), and it will be here within a few days. They asked for a four-day turnaround time, which is fine by me. In my haste to get my order in and not to stress tweaking it over and over, I just accepted the proof. Today, I'm sort of regretting it. What do you guys think? The first is the original. The second with the thicker purple border is the proof with the adjustment to the border to account for the bleed.

Original
Approved Proof
I guess I can live with it. It comes to about 7 cents per label, which is absolutely fantastic! In fact, had I ordered more, the price would have been a lot cheaper. I think 1000 pieces is plenty for a first run. I really didn't want to spend this money. I wanted to take it and throw it at my credit card bills, but this is a necessary expense. There are so many options, with high-products looking tempting and sexy, but costing a lot more than I intend to spend. I know I spend enough money as it is on my packaging. In the end, it's not about the box- It's what's inside that really matters.

In fact, I'm short of boxes, supplies, and tools. Since I fell ill, I have not kept up with my supply replenishment. I just didn't have the strength or the help to run around and buy everything. As soon as I was no longer contagious, I was swamped with my orders. Small orders, plain orders, and fancy ones. They were all one on top of the other, and I'm still not feeling 100% yet.

I have a huge he/she baby shower this weekend and I am quite ill-prepared for it. I had no choice but to call Joel for help. Thankfully, he's one person who I can honestly say will always help me if he can. With a few precise instructions, he was able to pick up everything I needed, give me a detailed account of the cost, is on his way to pick me up from work so I can grab a few more things on the way home. I have a long night of baking ahead of me. (**sigh** And, I really just wanted to sleep tonight.) I offered to take him to dinner to thank him for his help (and to celebrate the birthday he just had that I completely forgot to acknowledge this past Monday.) He thanked me, but said I didn't need to do that. Gas money would help him out more, he said honestly. Easy enough, and I appreciate him turning down the dinner. He knows I have to work tonight. Sometimes, it's just easier to pay for someone's help rather than have a debt hanging over my head. Gas money is fair, and I know he's being honest.

With the last argument between us both still kind of fresh, I was worried he wouldn't agree to help me or he would think things are back to the way things were. I had that issue with my ex-friend J whenever he and I would try to re-kindle our friendship. All the issues that caused me to pull away in the first place would be disregarded, and he would go right back doing all those unacceptable things again. Joel, even with all his flaws, is a more pragmatic man with maturity, and a clear heart. I know he won't take advantage of me. I know he won't throw things back in my face. I know he will always do his best to look out for me and make sure my best interest is always a priority. As long as I'm sure to keep things on a professional level with him, and to keep my requests at a minimum, I think it will be okay. At least, I hope things will be okay.

As much as I like being independent, I know that I'm not superwoman. I can't do it all by myself anymore. Things are getting busier, orders are getting bigger, and more money is coming in, which means more money has to be spent initially. I can't spread myself any thinner than I already have. I need the help.

I hope I'm making the right decisions. Sometimes it feels like with every step forward, I end up taking three steps back. However, I can't hide behind my self-doubt forever. No one is going to give me the life I want. I have to work for it. So, here goes!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Breakfast: Eat It

I was so bummed that yesterday's sammie was so expensive and so unsatisfying that I had to redeem my culinary prowess today. Behold! Mini blueberry whole wheat waffles, drizzled maple syrup, and topped with my leftover prosciutto di parma from yesterday! Simple. Fancy-looking. And most importantly; delicious!

Think it's weird? Imagine waffles and bacon- only the bacon is replaced with very fine, high-end razor-thin ham. Extreme yumminess! Since my breakfast was so heavy, that means just some jello cups for lunch today. =)
Pic taken with my brand, spankin' new HTC Thunderbolt!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Lunch Bell


I haven't been eating very well. I haven't been working out. I've been ill far longer than I have ever been ill before in the past. Changes must be made. Today seemed like a good day for that.

Whole Foods is a 10-15 minute walk from my office. In the past, I used to walk all the way over there, spend over a $100 to make ONE dinner for someone who probably would have been happier eating out of a can of Chef Boyardee , and then hauled those ridiculously heavy reusable tote bags three blocks back to the subway to ride it all the way back to Queens. All my exes have their lists of my horrible attributes, but I have my charms as a girlfriend. I learned my lesson to quit that nonsense the last time around. Men just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And we can go back and forth about that all day long! That's not the point of my post.

A few weeks ago, my coworker went there, bought some bread and some salami and made a sandwich for her and myself. I tried to pay her, but she insisted it costs her less than $5.00 for everything. No kidding?

Well, I went there and ended up spending no less than $27. Granted, I bought greens, condiments and a box of waffles to boot. I also splurged on two bottles of unsweetened iced tea that were on sale. Instead of a simple loaf of plain bread, I bought an onion pocket and two rolls; a kalamata olive roll and a pretzel roll, which I admit was probably more than I really needed. I also went balls to the wall and opted for a 1/4 pound of prosciutto di parma. The good stuff! At $22 a pound, my coworker paid less for a half pound of salami than I did for 1/4 lb of this stuff. Sliced paper-thin and separated between sheets of butchers paper so they would not stick to one another, this order was prepared with all the bells and whistles that $22 a lb will buy you! I also broke down and spent another $5.00 on a wedge of good brie. It was a strange combination, but I like brie and I love arugula. I'd know soon enough how all these flavors fair with one another. By the time I was done walking back to the office, my groceries were pretty damn heavy, I was out of breath (because I'm still wheezing and coughing), and I was all sweaty in my oversized sweater and jacket. (It was cold when I left the house this morning!)

Ok, so here's we go with the sandwich making...

 Ingredients: Baby arugula, brie, onion pocket roll, prosciutto di parma and horseradish sauce. I know the horseradish sauce seems out of place, but I was debating between buying some salad dressing or good olive oil and balsamic- my usual. What I don't like about Whole Foods is that everything is ridiculously overpriced. I can't justify paying $5 for salad dressing. Although I know good olive oil and balsamic isn't cheap, I didn't want to spend all that money for it. I settled on the horseradish sauce to add a little moisture and flavor to my sandwich since mayo dare come near my food. 







Step one was the brie. I'm not a huge fan of the white chalky rind surrounding the brie. I usually eat the creamy goodness out of the middle and leave the rind behind. Since serious cheeseheads scoff at that and since this is a big sandwich with a lot of flavors battling, I decided to leave it on and see what happens.The other side is slathered with some horseradish sauce. A very thin layer, I want to stress. A little goes a long way with that stuff.










The second step was the meat. Not too much. Not too little. There's nothing worse than a sandwich with not enough meat. On the flip side, I had the most fantastic prosciutto sandwich in Auburndale once. My friend and I were on a munchie hunt late one night and we walked over to his favorite Italian deli. He ordered a turkey on whole wheat. I went for a prosciutto/cappicola/arugula sandwich with provolone cheese and a splash of good balsamic vinegar. He put so much meat in this thing, I could barely wrap my mouth around it to take a bite. The most awesome part? He only charged me $3.50 for the whole thing! I think he was happy I asked for real cured meats rather than the regular American crap. He was also happily tossing me pieces to taste, as well as a nice slice of buffalo mozzarella. My friend and I hardly needed our sandwiches by the time this guy was done feeding us from the counter. It also helps that my friend spoke fluent Sicilian. Those talent tend to come in handy!

Okay, so one side is meat and cheese. The other side is arugula and horseradish. I also want to make a point that before piling on the greens, I zapped my little sandwich in the microwave for 45 seconds. I don't like cold lunches. I don't like cold sandwiches. I like my food hot or warm. I feel like it enhances the flavors.





Finished! Manga!





So, how was it? The horseradish was barely tasted. I didn't put enough. The brie was very strong and overpowering, and I think I should have bought some provolone or another mild cheese instead. The onion loaf was tasty but would have been put to better use with a less flavorful meat like roast beef or turkey. The arugula was not as delicate as other baby arugula that I've had. It was strong and more bitter like fully grown arugula.

I was still hungry when I was done so I made a smaller sandwich with the kalamata roll. Thick slather of horseradish sauce, two good ribbons of prosciutto, and a handful of arugula. No brie. Well, this time around, the horseradish was too overwhelming. The arugula was still rough and bitter.

Lesson learned? When combining such a fine meat like this fantastic prosciutto di parma, it's best to keep the components simple and less combative of the star of the show. I think a plain roll, a couple of slices of tomato and some green lettuce, and a splash of good balsamic and olive oil probably would have made my sandwich foodgasm-worthy, but the temptation of too many options at Whole Foods steered me away from the most basic of culinary rules: When your ingredients are the best of the best- leave it alone and just eat it! 

Monday, May 2, 2011

For Me?

Sometimes I think I have some of the nicest customers. I do a lot of cupcake work. When the cakes or cupcakes are displayed, I'm often asked for business cards to stack on the table next to the cupcakes so that I can market myself. I think that looks tacky. If someone really wants my services, they will find me. They always do. I've been polite, not putting cards out, not really wanting to say that I think it looks unprofessional to throw cards out there. I've also kept myself exclusive and very un-pedestrian doing things this way.

One customer had these cards made up for me to help "promote" myself. He told me that it's a subtle way to get my credit without throwing my business up in people's faces. I still find it obnoxious and tacky, but I really do appreciate the kind gesture. It makes these last two hell weeks totally worth it!

Hey, somebody out there loves me! (Well, maybe they love my cupcakes, and not really me....) Good enough!