Monday, November 12, 2012

Soul For Sale

Friday is a day I'd rather erase from my memory forever, but that can't happen. I have December 28th to do it over again, so I guess I only have to relive the agony of Friday for another 50 days or so. Anyway, I got a random text from a guy a know about a bakery space for rent in a building. Apparently, he bought a gym in the same building and just noticed the sign go up. I thought it was kinda cool he thought to text me out of the blue since we haven't spoken in almost 2 years, but I guess that's why some people are better at networking than others. I was thinking about it and was surprised how interested I really was in this possibility. It's a great location, and I don't know how much rent we're talking about, but it's a great neighborhood for a bakery. Obviously, this throws a wrench in my plans to blow this fucking state. As you have all probably heart, Colorado and Washington have both decided to do away with illegal marijuana. Not that it really makes a huge impact in my life, but it would make a big impact on my business, as it would open up a whole new demographic for my "other" baked goods. My ultimate goal is to move out West and open my own spot. However, I still feel that I am poorly lacking in business operating experience. On the other hand, I can't just stick around here for another year to tinker on a business and then cut ties and run West. I had to weight the realistic options I'm working with. I'm realistically still swimming in about grand of plastic debt. This includes various credit cards and two personal loans that technically are not even mine. I'm not even going to go off and rant about it because I'm only gonna end up upsetting myself again. I've also got those two fucking timeshares that I will have no hope of selling due to this fucking hurricane. With all the destruction I see today in various parts of NY and NJ, I will hold off on feeling sorry for myself because there are people who lost EVERYTHING. Debt can get paid and money will be made because I am a worker. And it doesn't matter who is elected in office- the bottom line is that I can take care of myself. (Just between you and me, I'm really happy those Republican pieces of shit are off playing crazy golf to blow off some steam!) So, now that I am really considering sticking around at least a little while to get my shit together, I'm wondering how awkward it would be to hit up all those people who have offered me start up money. "So, remember that 20 grand you said you had laying around to help get Queenie Cakes in to an actual store...." Someone playfully told me I could do 20 paid escort nights to earn that kind of money, and I said that I wouldn't want to wear out the equipment before the doors even opened. Seriously, I'm about to be another year older. I'm already aged out of that sort of game. I feel like a sell out for setting up roots here. I'm not happy living here. I've been aching to move out West for years and years, and have been sitting quietly on the sideline as I watch other people do it one after another. How fucked up is it to take this dude's tip as an actual option to snap up? I've been thinking about it for 2 days now, and I've been researching business plans. I'm cautiously optimistic about my success rate. Besides Buttercooky, there's not really an awesome American bakery in this area anymore. I don't know... There's a lot on the line in terms of my life, but honestly, there's nothing much to lose.


  1. I didnt say anything about this right away cuz I had to think. You think I ignored your text because of family drama but thats not totally it. I mean, if I could pick you up and put you in my pocket I'd do that. If I could get you a spot up here and have you set up shop I'd do that. I don't want you on the other side of the country. I dont want you moving to seattle cuz in 2 years when your bored with seattle youll go to austrailia and then i'll never see you again. If you had money I know you'd find a way to disappear into the world where no one can find you and that scares me as your friend.

    I mean, if the opportunity is right and its meant to be I think you should do the bakery here. If it does well and you make a good name for yourself you can franchise and go west anyway. Or you can sell the business hear and liquidate your assets so you have the money to move. That's the smart thing to say to you. The fact that youre equating that to selling your soul says it's not what you want to do. And if you don't want to do it, youre gonna half ass it. Then, why bother?

    1. I appreciate your honesty, but it kind of sucks that you think I'd just cut you off like that. People come in and out of life. Look how many years we spent not talking- and not because we were angry. We just went different ways for a little while.

      I'm not going to say I'll stay in one place once I get there. I'm too impulsive to set up roots, but I can promise not to disappear on you.

      Look man, you actually make an effort when it comes to me. I don't have many people like you that I can call my friend. I don't take people like you for granted, despite what you think.

  2. I think about what I'll do once I'm officially graduated and I'm both excited and scared. I'm terrified of my student loan debt, and of not finding a job, after all my hard work. So I can relate a bit to how you feel about the tough choice it is to stay here or go elsewhere. I'm stressed about it but like you, I work hard, and together we will both figure it out. Just know that I love and support you in whatever you decide. <3