Thursday, April 14, 2011

Getting Started

I love decorating. When I'm in the thick of it, time is frozen and I'm in the moment, doing my thing. That's why I end up running late all the time. I don't care how much time I have left to work on a cake. I'm going to take however long I need to in order to make it look the way I like. I've showed up one hour, two hours, or even worse- three hours late to event because the cakes "just weren't right" in my opinion. Most of the time, they are so happy with the results, my tardiness is forgiven. However, being late all the time is a sure sign of an UN-professional and it leaves people with a bad taste in their mouths when they think about worrying about where the hell I was and where the hell is their cake.

A big part of my problem is procrastination and laziness. When I had my apartment and my Dungeon was then called my Garage- things were easy. My living room / workspace had everything I needed. Music? Cable? DVD's? Food? Couch? Everything was easily there. I had a HUGE living room. If I ran out of workspace on my workbench, I moved on over to the dining room table. If I ran out of room on the table, I slapped on the metal tabletop my ex made me to cover the top of the chest freezer we had in the foyer. All our furniture was fair game to be converted into some type of cooking equipment. And it worked. I had tons of lights. I had a huge air conditioner. I had NOTHING to complain about. When my ass took longer than it needed to get in gear, I had Joel to crack the whip and bitch me out for procrastinating. Yes, we argued about it, but in the end he was right. And things got done in a timely manner.

Things are much different for me now. My Dungeon really does feel like a Dungeon. The conditions are minimal, at best. I have an iPod dock, and I'll drag down my Netbook for all-nighters so I'll run some movies to keep my mind active. However, it's not pleasant to work down there. I run up and down to wash bowls and pans and measuring cups. I run up for eggs and water. I bring all my clean equipment back down when the dishwasher is done sanitizing everything. I wish I could throw the whole Dungeon in the dishwasher to sanitize it. What was once ALL my space has been cramped with more shit my family brought down into the basement for storage. People come down and take my pans, measuring spoons, whisks, etc...and then dump things they feel should be kept with my stuff any where they damn well feel like. It's a mess. I used to be proud how anal I was with my things. Ingredients arranged by size, type, and frequency of use. My stocks rotated to bring the older things forward and store the newer items in the back. My decorating sugars and sprinkles all separated by colors. I always knew what I had, where it was, how much of it I had, and when I would need to go out and buy more.

Well, to say it's not like that now would be a complete understatement. It's a fucking mess. Tonight, I was going to head out to Brooklyn, but my time is better spent sanitizing my Dungeon again. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning down there, and I don't really understand why the people in my house feel it's okay to be complete slobs in an area they don't belong in anyway. If Joel saw the state of my Dungeon today, he would probably drop dead from a heart attack. That man was so anal about how our work areas were kept, he would stop whatever he was doing, go out to buy cleaning supplies, and then come back and spend however long it took to scrub until he could see his reflection shining back up at him. Needless to say, those were the worse days for me. I would get lectured while he helped me clean. He would ramble on and on about laziness and lack of time NOT being a good excuse to let things go. He always harped that our home should be a place that anyone can walk into at any time and there should never be an issue of having to clean up before anyone came inside.

Fucking hell. He was right.

My Dungeon, whatever little time it is still the Dungeon, should be in a state that can welcome anyone at anytime without me having to stop and clean before allowing anyone inside. As much as I bitched about the man being so anal and OCD...Dammit, he was right!

No Barcade for me tonight. After what happened on Tuesday night with my beer group- I won't be drinking with these people again anytime soon. Tonight will be spent cleaning and baking. I want to be able to get some sleep, wake up refreshed, and be excited to head down into the Dungeon to start decorating my awaiting cakes.

I have a hard time getting myself started. I'm tired. I'm achy. I don't feel well. I'm comfortable vegging out on my bed in front of the tv, and I don't want to go work in the damn, dank, dingy Dungeon. It's cold. It's messy. I have to clean off junk people have thrown on top of my work area in order for me to work. I'm not even going to get into have to run through the gambit of the assholes who take up the space between the 2nd floor and the Dungeon.

I end up starting late because I have to mentally convince myself to get started. However, once I'm measuring and baking and scraping and mixing...I'm loving it. I taste to experiment with flavors and new ideas. I try out new techniques I saw on television or read about online. Before I know it, hours have flown by and by some miracle I have this beautiful cake in front of me that I know tastes fucking fantastic- unlike many other super-fancy cakes I've had.

I can complain about anything and everything. I'm good at it. But, despite the uphill climb to get going, I am happiest when I'm baking and creating. I'm in my own zone with a decorating bag in one hand and an offset spatula in the other. I'm good at what I do because I still love what I do. The problem is just finding the motivation to start doing it.....

I LOVE this guy's comics. Even though I'm not exactly an artist in the traditional sense of the word, if you go through his series "SYAC", he's got enough stuff in there that most people can relate to and appreciate! His style and sense of humor remind me a lot of my last ex. I've been such a downer the last few months. I figured I would leave this post with a chuckle. (Replace "Restaurant City" with "Cafe World", and that's pretty much my days off!)

SYAC - Procrastination by *TomPreston on deviantART


  1. You don't need Joel to light a fire under your ass- just kick your own ass and call it a day. Hey- remember you're not gonna be there much longer. Just keep throwing the money in the shoebox.

    What happened on Tues? Seems pretty bad cuz you were hyping up that group like you were getting paid! Are you and that Steve guy dating?

    Enough with the cafe world already!!!!!!!

  2. I would sooner superglue my vagina shut. I'm not dating him or anyone else. Once I have my own place again or once I can get the fuck out of NY (wherever that may lead me) I'll be perfectly happy on my own, in the company of my future pets. Alone isn't as horrible as I envisioned it.

    I won't be going to those beer meetups anymore. I'll leave reasons off this blog. I'm sure you understand. We can talk in private.

  3. I doubt you'll answer this question since I'm not one of your followers, but did Steve try anything less-than-gentlemanly with you? Please say he did so I have a reason to go at him. A night off from work every now and then won't bring down the cake business. Besides, don't you miss being around people who love your company? New friends, new beginnings; new results. Embrace the change and bury the past. Those people didn't make it to your future for a reason. I really hope something terrible didn't happen Tuesday night. If it did, you need to report it.

  4. I think I know who you are, and since you didn't bother leaving your name, I' won't out you. I appreciate the concern, but that's not something I'm going to discuss here, and I just ask that you respect my privacy and not disclose anymore info here about that. Thank you.