Saturday, July 9, 2011

No One's Whore

I wasn't going to write about this because it had me so fed up, I wanted to walk away from everything and
not look back. I know I have my hissy fits every now and again, and I slap on the drama in thick slabs, but I was so done with this business, it was beyond a common drama queen crisis.

I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I didn't want to rehash it with any of my friends. And I certainly didn't want to write about it. In fact, I'm not even going to give it back it's legs by detailing the scenario again now.

I don't know where people in this society get off on treating people like shit because they are "working" for them. In truth, because of what I do, people are paying me for my services. Yes, technically, I'm working for them. However, it doesn't give anyone free reign to make me feel badly, to treat me like shit, or to dehumanize my existence. I'm human, and prone to mistakes, just like anyone else. Sometimes, circumstances go beyond my control, and I do my best to deal- but in short; shit happens.


I try my best to right a wrong. Cake wrecks happen. Not all the time, but most recently I've had two major cake wrecks for two people I just happened to know since elementary school. Ironic? Maybe. The first one was Spiderman, and I did all that I could to try to rectify the situation. I didn't charge for the first wreck of a cake I gave them. ($100 loss) And I didn't charge for the second cake I made them. ($75 loss) It's a lot of money I lose in profit, but it's the cost of materials that really eats into my wallet. However, the situation was so terrible, I would have done anything to try and make it right. They were happy enough to ask for the second cake and set up a delivery time, but I haven't heard from them since and I have no clue whether or not they liked that cake. Who knows?

The last one was different. The cake was perfect and beautiful and worthy to be on any magazine cover or tv show. It was PERFECT. Perfectly late. I have a feeling the woman gave me the wrong delivery time, but even if she did I still ended up coming quite late because of car trouble, extreme holiday traffic, and a stolen phone. I'm getting stomach pains just thinking about it, but to sum it up- I fucked up. I got there late, and the party was practically over. Did I have any clue this party was only going to be about an hour and  a half long?  No! Who the hell throws a party for an hour and a half? But, even so, I came late and it was my fault. That's $200 that I didn't get paid. It was my fault. Fine.

I apologized till I was blue in the face- via several forms. It just wasn't going to make it okay. I kind of knew it was headed in that direction, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel badly. I was in near tears telling them how sorry I was. My friend seemed very understanding, giving me several huge bear hugs before letting me go when I delivered the cake. His wife wouldn't even look at me. Understood. I didn't expect a cyber-chew-out from him, since he seemed so non-chalant about the whole thing when we were face to face. I felt as though he was trying to man up in front of his wife when I sent my apology to her (cc'ing him on it), and he utilized me as his method of showing her he was sticking up for him family. I don' know what there was to stick up for. I admitted how wrong I was, I apologized till blood was coming out of my palms, and I didn't charge them for a PERFECT cake that they still enjoyed enough to take pictures of and slap on FB.

There's the crux of it all. If I fuck up a stranger's cake- I may lose a customer and lose any potential future business from that customer. When it's a "friend", everyone is interwoven all over the fucking internet and my name get's dragged through the mud on a professional and personal level. I don't get many bad reviews. AT ALL. Almost every cake I've ever made anyone- paid or free- has been received happily 98 out of 100 times. I take constructive criticism well- too sweet, too dry, too much alcohol, too rich....I hear it every now and then, but I adjust and I have MANY repeat customers. This year, most of my business has been first time customers, leaving me very little room to mess up.

I know it's my responsibility to showcase myself and my business in the best light possible, but I'm only one person and sometimes it gets away from me. Accidents happen. Weather happens. Time slips by faster than I can keep up with. I don't walk in with the attitude that people WILL understand and I WILL be forgiven. I know that these events are important to these people and that's time that they won't get back. The importance of me showing up with my best cake on time is never lost on me. It's not always possible, though. That's when I wonder whether or not I should be doing this if I can't deliver the best on time every time. When I fuck up, I understand that people will be furious at me.

On the other hand, I don't understand the mindset of making someone feel worse about something they are obviously already feeling really shitty about. The irony isn't lost on me. I know I can hold a grudge like a stubborn little bitch, and I can drag a fight on and on and on for hours. Someone may apologize to me and admit they are wrong, but if I don't feel like it's a sincere sentiment, then I won't accept it and I'll keep raging on.

Do I feel like maybe this is my own personal baggage or Karma coming around and taking a bite out of my ass? Of course. I think every single one of my exes and former friends can stand off on the sidelines and enjoy watching my distress being the one on the other side getting railed at. For once, I feel like my Karmic deposits have been depleted, and I have a whole slew of past transgressions coming back to hit me.

But, that's my personal Karma. In business, I have never treated a working person like a cockroach, and I've never behaved as rudely as these people have acted. I've worked with all different levels of economic and financial classes of people. Do you know what I've experienced? Those who can just afford my cakes or the ones who scrape and save to throw these parties are the one's who have always paid me what I asked, were flexible to change, and have always been polite, respectful, and grateful to me for doing what I do. Half an hour late? It's ok. Changed design due to heat or humidity or circumstances? No problem. And they tip me....VERY well!! These are working class people who shop clearance, clip coupons, and shut off lights to save electricity.

These fucking suburban soccer moms have been so nasty, so selfish, so CHEAP, and so unrealistically demanding. I don't know if they feel that because the value of their homes exceed what 5 people make in a year- they can treat people any which way they feel. In fact, any party I have attended in these well-to-do environments have always proved to me how detached from reality most people get when they no longer have to worry about money.

Do you know what people talk about at suburb parties? They brag about the latest photographer they just used for their kids' portraits, the cost of the newest dance classes little Britney is attending, the expense of their latest family vacation, the hassle of leasing their new Benz station wagon, complaints about the cleaning lady not cleaning well enough, the pool man not skimming the pool as well as they would like, the blaring music coming out of the landscaper's truck, the fact that this sister-in-law didn't rsvp to the party but showed up anyway and brought the WRONG type of Barbie as a gift- HEAVEN FORBID! 

I've sat there, feeling like an alien watching humans for the first time in my life. Is this what "living the dream" is really like? Is that what people feel is happiness for their children when they don't struggle with money? Give them everything- more of everything. The best of the best of the best- and if someone fucks with that formula- tear them down like the maggots they are!

Mistakenly, I had always assumed that more money meant more class, and maybe better people. I've learned working in my business that the one's with the most money have the least amount of class and have been the ugliest of people I have ever dealt with.

Men and women pay whores for their services. They are bought for pleasure and they are expected to deliver. Their money doesn't give them the right to treat them badly. Whether someone is paying for a whore or a cake baker- the cost of services does not encompass disrespecting anyone. The title on this blog is wrong. Even if I was someone's whore, no one will ever buy the right to make me feel like shit.

Whore or not; everyone deserves to be treated like a human being with a very basic level of respect. Now, at what point did the money in one's bank account buy the right to forget that?

4 comments:

  1. Sorry rich people are bags of dicks. People seem to think that money is worth more than the services they pay for. But if it was they could just make a cake out of freakin' money! THEY need YOU and your services, they don't know how to bake! What a bunch of fat cat pricks. You see them on the telly and you don't really think they exist until you meet one. You really need to start implementing an asshole tax. It's not like they couldn't pay for it.

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  2. I don't hate on people because they have nice things. IF they work for it, I don't give a crap what they have. I just don't like the sense of entitlement that they all seem to have. I don't like the way they look down on the working class or the people who don't have the luxury of not worrying about cash.

    Rich or poor, it wouldn't be okay for me to treat a rich customer any less than I would treat a customer I had to work on a budget with. In my experience, I've gotten more respect from my working-class customers than I have from my "upper-crust" demographic.

    I hate to look at people in stereotypes, but dammit, these assholes sure are living up to the ugly picture society has painted them with.

    You're right, though. I need to just be more careful about the jobs I agree to take. It would probably be best not doing business with "friends".

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  3. Surely you know by now that you did everything you could do to make what happened right. It wasn't deliberate and if they want to hold a grudge, that's on them. They're cut off from anymore of your awesome cakes. It's their loss. You're going to blow up bigger than anyone they know, and they will never have a baker make them anything as detailed, personalized, or as delicious as anything you would have made.

    The passive aggressive digs at you over fb just shows this woman's lack of maturity, and your friend ripping into you after the fact just exposes that his wife's got him by the short hairs. He's willing to kill your friendship of YEARS over something that was out of your control- he's not much of a friend, is he? And all those services he was offering you- I bet he would've charged you out the nose for everything he was promising. Who the fuck tries to do business after his little princess's party is just "ruined" by a late cake? That's just fucking twisted.

    He was all cool to give you love when he saw you- probably biting his lip over what "coulda been" between the both of you- and trying to keep it chill between the two of you despite what just happened to the cake. Then, suddenly he's going to rip you a new asshole on an email his wife is cc'd on? No way. Fucker is beating his wings to keep things cool at home. Give it a week and i bet he comes back at you with that website bullshit again.

    It's up to you what you wanna do with your site, but personally, I wouldn't take him up on his offer. Here's another buddy from old school days promising you the world. But, I think you've learned by now that nothing is ever free....except those cakes that you've given all these people!!

    Your a kindhearted person Kat. You go out of your way for these friends of yours and frankly it doesn't sound like they're very good friends at all to be deserving of all that your doing.

    Going forward- JUST SAY NO THANKS!

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  4. Sorry, Josh. I just read this comment now. I don't see things like that. I mean, people do my favors because they know I could use the help, and I'm very grateful for it. Sometimes the favors end up being more of a burden then a favor, but it doesn't take away from the kind gesture.

    Friend or foe; I would have appreciated it if he just went off on me face to face, rather than waiting to do it with an email. Actually, it was a reply to an apology I sent to his family. I know that he was trying to beat his chest and play Big Man in front of his wife, who was very much quite FURIOUS about it, which I understand.

    But, whatever. It's over and done with. It did really upset me when it happened; enough to convince me that I was not the right person for this business. I turned down a couple of orders and referred them to other people. I cancelled a supply order I put in. I really just wanted to walk away so I didn't have to go through this kind of scenario again.

    But, I love it. I love making the cakes, and I love making people happy. That cake was beautiful even though they were not happy about the timing. The other two cakes I made that weekend made my other customers so happy! I just had to tell myself that I can't let the fuck ups take away from the home runs.

    As cliche and corny as that is, I know I often let one bad apple spoil the bunch, and I just need to stop doing that. If I keep fucking up, then a whole bunch of bad apples would justify shutting it down. I'll see how things turn out going forward.

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