Monday, January 17, 2011

Strange Meat, Please!

I was looking forward to Colorado because of all the fresh meat  I heard they specialized in. I wanted to chomp down on some Rocky Mountain Oysters. That would be Bull Testicles for those who are unaware. They were no where to be found, and no one seemed to know what I was talking about except for some townie burnouts that I happened to meet one night. Still, there were no balls to be enjoyed.

Our first meal when we touched down was at a Denny's. It was 3am, and it was the only joint open. Although our waiter was indeed the NICEST waiter I have ever encountered in my entire 32 years of existence. I wasn't very hungry, but I knew I would be so I ordered some gingerbread pancake nuggets. They are exactly as you would imagine; little nuggets of gingerbread flavored pancake batter that's been deep fried, served with hot maple syrup. I ordered a side of turkey bacon, too. On top of that, there was peppermint hot cocoa, and I was all over that. I had one nugget. I had one slice of turkey bacon. Everything was SUPER salty. Luckily, my peppermint hot cocoa had unlimited refills, and he filled me up four times. Not the best meal I've had, but our waiter was so nice, we tipped him very well anyway. He earned it.

The next day, we had arrived in Breckenridge and were exploring the little town. We were starving, but it was only 11am, CO time. The only place open was Bubba Gumps, and we ended up having an early lunch there. I had gumbo and fish tacos. It was okay. I was still on the lookout for my strange meat, but all the menus I read as we passed by the restaurants looked strangely normal to me. Steak. Duck. Trout.

There was a nice lady selling homemade jerky on a corner. I bought elk jerky, buffalo jerky, and  deer jerky. It was expensive; $12 for each one, however, it was SOO  good. Once I was done sharing with everyone else, there wasn't anything left to take home and I ran out of money to buy more at the end of my trip.

My next meal was the rehearsal dinner. The menu said there was a choice of soup; French Onion and Chicken Rice. I had the French Onion. The salad was fresh mozzarella, heirloom tomato, and basil. The entree's were choices of Duck Two Ways, Stuffed Trout, Salmon, NY Strip Steak, and Grilled Portobello. Of course, I went with the Duck. What a mistake!!

Number One: the best think about eating duck is the crispy skin. As you can see, my breasts have been stripped of it's skin. It was over cooked and dry. There was not enough sauce to go around. It was dry and flavorless. I did not enjoy this at all. The picture below is the Salmon. It was dry and tasteless, as well.
My first fancy meal in Colorado, and it was a dry, tasteless mess. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I think I downed four glasses of red wine. The soup was forgettable. The salad was lacking in dressing. The  dessert was an ugly sheet cake. I would have been okay with it's lack-luster decorations if it tasted good. The cake was under-baked, the filling was forgettable (because I can't remember what was inside), but the marshmallow frosting on the outside wasn't bad. I think I ate that instead of the cake. My brother gave me a piece of his NY Strip, and wouldn't you know it? That tasted awesome. I'm in Colorado, and the best choice happened to be the NY Strip. Go figure.

The next big memorable meal was the wedding reception the next night. The passed trays during  cocktail hour were great! Stone crab claws, beef en'croute w/ horseradish creme, crab stuffed mushrooms, coconut shrimp, and prosciutto wrapped asparagus. It was all great! The dinner was surf and turf- lobster tail, filet mignon, mashed potatoes and squash. Again, it would have been great, but everything was over-salted. The mushroom soup was good. The walnut salad was forgettable. The cake. Ok, I know high altitude conditions does affect how things bake. The filling and actual cake was heavy and tasted underbaked. However, I did like the marshmallow frosting.

The next day, I was supposed to go snowboarding, but due to the fact that I couldn't breathe and I was running low on funds, I went into town instead. There was also a blizzard on the way in, which was absolutely beautiful up there. Huge, detailed snowflakes came tumbling down out of the sky, and although it was frosty everywhere, it wasn't that cold. We went to a steakhouse that was running a $9.99 special for an 8oz cut, and two sides. It was really good. It's too bad my appetite still wasn't back in full swing. Again, they were very cheap with the sauce. What's up with that?

The most memorable meal we had there was one the way back to the airport on the last day. We stopped at a small mining town, that advertised a restaurant that specialized in buffalo right off the highway. It was like stepping back in time driving through this two-lane town. Old buildings, and houses. We could see the entrances to the mines cut right into the sides of the mountains. If I wasn't feeling so ill, I would have taken pics, but I still couldn't breathe and the lack of oxygen getting to my brain was starting to take it's toll on me.

It was a fantastic little restaurant that just read "Buffalo" outside. We were seated right beside this huge wood burning furnace, which was rigged to heat the entire place. To my utter shock, it really was hot and gave off  a tremendous amount of heat! I ended up getting the Buffalo short ribs. My brother and father ordered the Buffalo prime rib and my mom had the Buffalo stroganoff. (Random, right?) It was all good. Nothing fancy; just earthy and real. It was served with a side of potatoes (or rice), two home made rolls, and some steamed veggies- carrots, broccoli, and green leaf lettuce. All steamed and served under the meat and potatoes. Very rustic and old timey. It was something that probably would have been served 50 years ago to men coming out of the mines, looking for a hearty meal before heading home. It was no-frills and simple. It was the best damn meal I had the entire trip!

Wood burning furnace
My favorite! =) Old time Coke Machine
Buffalo Prime Rib

Buffalo Short Ribs


  1. Man, no balls and skinless soggy breasts? What a jip! :D The buffalo short ribs look really tasty though.

  2. I know, right? What's a girl gotta do to get some battered and fried bull testicles around these parts?!