Sunday, October 23, 2011

Ready or Not

I'm not sure whether or not I mentioned that my boss in DC sent me a rather cryptic email last Friday, asking if I would be in on Monday because she was coming into town. I don't know what's up, but I have a feeling in the back of my mind that big changes are going to happen.

I've written a lot in the past that I think I'm about to get axed. I still feel that way. Even though this new system has come out and I'm pretty damn important right now, I've still been coming in consistently late. My boss inside my office (the government Boss) doesn't say two words to me. In fact, he NEVER says anything unless it's bad. He eyed me signing in at 10:15 on Thursday morning, after I called out on Monday. Suddenly, my DC boss is heading into town after she was just here less than a week ago?

I tried not thinking about it too much. If it's the end, then it's the end. I can't say I'd miss the job; just the paycheck. I almost feel as though I've shot myself in the foot agreeing to be in this wedding. I depleted my Get the Fuck Outta Dodge Fund. I'm not really prepared for it since I've had all this other bullshit at work going on. I have a wedding card box that is no where near finished and I know my friend is pissed as hell that I haven't answered her emails asking me where the pictures are.

If I lose this job, I'm going to be in super deep shit. I've only been in the position one time where I couldn't pay my bills and the bill collectors' phone calls made my stomach bleed- literally. I dropped so much weight so fast because the worry and the stress wouldn't let me eat. I know I can probably get a little unemployment, even though I've never been on it before, and it would leave me more time to solicit cake jobs. It would probably also free me up to take a part time cake position at some bakery for cash. But, not having a DECENT steady check really shakes me up.

I am holding way too much liability and I need to unload. These fucking timeshares need to go. Period. I'm probably down to about $15,000 on the mortgage for it, but what good is a vacation destination with no one to share it with? And it's not like I have the time to step away from work to go enjoy myself. It seems like I haven't had that time for a long while now.  The credit cards have inched up because of this wedding. Then there's this laptop that I bought that I probably should have held off on.

So, I'm going into work extra early in the morning. I'm hoping to clear up any loose ends I have, and I'll get another jump on clearing out my cube of all the stuff I've collected in there over the past 7 years. Christ, has it been that long? I don't know what's in store. By this time tomorrow, I may be on the unemployment line for government cheese.

My stomach hurts already. I know I can handle this. Let's just hope the rest of me is aware of it, too.

8 comments:

  1. Good luck Kat! Honestly if that did happen, I would ay it's the perfect opportunity to cancel on the wedding. I mean perfect, legitimate actual excuse not to be able to go.

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  2. I was actually contemplating that, but my plane tickets are already bought. I've already spent the $300 on the dress, shoes, and alterations. And my friend has already had 3 girls drop out of her wedding. I don't want to be that 4th asshole who does it to her. I think it was just a HUGE mistake on my part to agree to be in it without really thinking about the costs involved and the timing.

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  3. So what was the big talk with your boss boss?! Is everything ok or are you queenie cakes full time now?

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  4. Someone whose been thereOctober 25, 2011 at 2:08 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. First of all, anyone who "knows" me is fully aware that I don't condone trashing anyone on my blog. Stop doing it. You're throwing words at someone who couldn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks about him, so stop wasting your time junking up my blog with your nasty comments.

    Seriously, I don't know exactly who you're trying to unsettle with all this negativity. You seem to have a lot of time on your hands typing out this nonsense.

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  7. Uh....Kat? I think you forgot to delete the comments. (If you meant to leave them up there, just delete this....sorry if I'm butting in again)

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  8. Thanks. I thought I took it down yesterday.

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