Monday, September 10, 2012

A Matter of Perspective

Remember that last minute wedding I wrote about last week? The woman was trying to entice me to give her credit terms with the promise of "professional" pictures of my cupcakes were going to be taken on HER cupcake tower.

I have my own cupcake tower. My original tower was retired after someone snapped the stem. Eventually, Wilton came out with one of their own and it turned out to be a lot sturdier than my old one was. I am more wary about lending that one out because it is a lot pricier than the first tower I had. In fact, the first tower is no longer being made. I am wiser after the first one was ruined. I'm a lot more careful with the new one.

Since this woman insisted she had it all set up and only needed cupcakes, I didn't bother offering my own tower. She paid me in cash, as she said she would, and emailed to tell me they were delicious and all her guests loved every bite.

Then she sent me the picture.

Oh. My. Golly.

Well, thank goodness I don't put much weight on promises people make to me. Professional? Not quite. I later found out that her best friend was a baker and charged $3 per cupcake. I'm assuming she wasn't about to cut her a break on the price. Mine were NOT that pricey. I already had the feeling she was on a budget and after seeing this picture, I knew I was right.

No, this isn't going up on my website, but it just proves to me that I was right.....AGAIN.

  • This is not a professional picture.
  • This is not a cupcake tower. This is a 3-tier staggered cake stand. (I have one of these, too.)
  • She was on a VERY tight budget.
  • She was thankful for the work I did, but I know she doesn't realize what kind of break I cut her.
  • She most certainly DID NOT refrigerate those cupcakes like I told her to do.
  • Despite all my belly-aching, I know I did the right thing.


  1. I thought you made 200 cupcakes? She actually sent this to you as a pro pic? Were there more pictures?

    1. I made 12 dozen cupcakes. 256 TOTAL. Maybe she had someone filling it up as people took them. Or maybe she had another table. I really don't know. This isn't a tower and those are not 13 dozen cupcakes. The picture was much bigger and at a higher resolution. I had to compress it so it would fit on this site.

    2. This was the only picture she sent me.

    3. I meant "13" dozen. I swear I math good!

  2.'s not the height of the tower, it's the strength of their love?

    Don't get snarky about someone's wedding, Katniss. You're a better person than that.

    1. It's not about the money spent at all. I could have helped her out if she communicated better with me. She's the one that came at me with an attitude and a hoity-toity air of aloofness. She was asking ME to do her a solid and she wasn't very courteous about it. Had she been more honest with me about her situation, I could have done a lot to make her wedding cupcakes look a hell of a lot better than this.

      I didn't bring snark to this wedding; it was already there.

    2. And a fine morning to you, m'lady! Something vexes thee?

      My my're in a mood this morning.

    3. I'm sorry. I know I'm moody. I'm just getting very fed up with shit around here. I know I've said it before, but I'm absolutely flippin' "vexed".

      I don't hate on other people when they are jetting all over the country because they make the money and they can afford to do it. I'm jealous, but I don't go on their social networks and leave them nasty comments.

      And I don't go on people's pages who I know DAMN well don't have jobs or don't have money and ask them how they are affording to do all the shit they are doing. That's their business and how fucking RUDE to go and call someone out like that about their finances?

      I don't bitch and moan when I'm not invited to people's birthdays, weddings, or bbq's, and I don't leave stupid comments pertaining to that fact. Because it's FUCKING RUDE.

      I don't know where people get off doing that to me! "Why wasn't I invited to this?" Um, weren't you just posting a bunch of statuses stating that you barely had any money to fill your tank? How the hell are you going to afford a $25 club cover, a $50 dinner, and $15 drinks?

      It's absolutely off-putting when people do that to me, and it's always the same people sending me snarky texts and private messages telling me how "hurt" they are that I'm out and I didn't tell them. WTF?!?!?! How about, sometimes I'm a guest at someone's party and I'm not at liberty to bring more people with me? Or how about how my "close" friends celebrated their birthdays with other people, didn't invite me, and I didn't make one peeping sound about it?

      I'm absolutely done dealing with this shit here. My cousin was really spot on about the people I surround myself with. She told me if I become as complacent as the people around me, then I'm never going to motivate myself to achieve my goals because no one around me will light the fire under my ass. If anything, they're going to do everything in their power to snuff it out so that I'll stay and keep them company. She was right.

      Joey and my ex after him were both workaholics and even some of the men I hung out with briefly after that were all work horses. If I said I couldn't hang out because I needed to work, I didn't get bitched at. And I saw how hard they worked at their jobs, doing what they do. I respect the fuck out of that. These are people who understand that the world isn't going to hand you jack shit on a silver platter, no matter what. You need to get off your fucking lazy asses and go make something happen for yourself.

      I think I really do need to thin out the type of people I surround myself with. Some of the newer people I've met over the years may be a little younger, but I'll tell you right now that they work a whole lot harder than the people my age. I'd rather have a beer with those folks.

      Yes, I'm aware I am sounding like a complete cunt right now. I can't help it. I'm all out of patience.

    4. I'm guessing someone wrote something rude to you on social network unnamed? If so, why do you let these people get under your skin? Put your life into perspective. You have a laundry list of health issues right now. You may not have a job next year. You're still behind the 8 ball on the debt monster...Is it really worth it to let silly immature antics people pull on that site to get you this agitated?

      Good people will always be good people, and the others will be whatever they are. Don't let the petty one's ruin your mood or your day. It isn't worth it, and again I'm going to remind you that you're better than that. Let it go. (Didn't you write that about haters?)

  3. Maybe some people just want to feel included and not left out. An invite might just be the courteous thing to do. Many of my close friends are upstate, but they still invite me to things, just because I mean something to them.

    That said, maybe people have expectations because that's what they're used to. It's not your fault if you never communicated that up them. Plus maybe they thought, well, if you invited so-and-so along to do something, and they are mutual friends, why didn't I get invited?

    By the way, I'm not accusing you of acting or behaving a certain way... I'm just offering my own perspective. Love you!

    1. I try to include my usual group in all the things I do, but sometimes people specifically tell me "I'm not working right now, money is really tight, I can't do anything. If things change, I'll let you know."

      Which I take as them saying, "Thanks for all the invites, but I don't have the cash to do all that stuff and you're making me feel like shit for asking all the time and I STILL don't have the cash for it."

      I try to be sensitive to everyone's situation because no one knows what it's like walking in someone else's shoes. But the same people who tell me they don't have the money are the same people who complain when they see me doing something without them.

      I have a pretty open door policy on hanging out. The more, the merrier. I don't bitch people out when I don't get invited to their personal events.

  4. Also, if I have left you out of something, my apologies. You're right- sometimes one group of friends doesn't mix well with another, and to make it easier and more fun overall, sometimes you just have to choose one over another and hope they'll understand. It is also not your fault. I know I've been self-absorbed lately, worrying about trying to find a job and my brother's situation and getting this last bit of school done. So if you've needed to talk to me, I've been going crazy.

    I think it's awesome that you work so hard and get to do lots of cool stuff! I honestly don't know how you have the time to work so much and manage to keep yourself sane and well adjusted. You're an inspiration to me, that once I am done in December, that I can find work in the city and make the money to do more things. Living off tribal annuities and student loan refunds is nice but not a permanent solution.

    So, um, what were we talking about again? LOL! I just started babbling and kept going. ;) I hope you're feeling better too.

    1. I know what you're going through, and I'm trying to give you space to do what you need to do, because I can only image how much driving you do between the Bronx, school, and upstate.

      I wouldn't dream of celebrating my birthday without inviting you and Rob, but I didn't throw a tantrum when you both celebrated your birthdays without inviting me. I didn't question it. I didn't put on a guilt trip. I just understood that people want to do what they want to do and you have to respect it. And that's fine.

      I just don't like being called out on stuff when I know I go out of my way to make everyone feel included. I work really hard so I have the money to do it, and I sit out when I don't. And I don't make anyone else feel bad for doing stuff that I can't afford to do with them.

      What I find unacceptable, and you know who I'm talking about, is when you know darn well someone doesn't have the money to do the basic things but wants to go out and drink and party with me all night long. Guess who's picking up the bill for that?!?!?! I've been a sucker for this person time and time again because I felt sorry for her and I didn't want her to feel left out, but after being taken advantage of over and over, and having my time wasted every time she flakes out or changes plans- I said enough is enough. You can only do so much for other people, before it's time to cut them loose and let them do for themselves....and hope that they succeed.

  5. Girl, I hear ya! And I know what you're saying. We really didn't do anything for Rob's birthday this year because he wants to wait to be 41 to really celebrate. He was saying how we really couldn't afford it to do either birthday real big this year because we're both looking for jobs.

    I tell ya, I can't wait to be totally done with school. I'll be able to work full-time, make real money, and have a shorter commute. Oh how I am looking forward to that!

    Anyhoo, I miss you. How are things for you these days?

    1. Just a myriad of health issues. This month has been slow for cakes so I haven't been out much. Just doing a bunch of art stuff at home and working on some masks people ordered from me. I'm still debating whether I want to go all out for Halloween this year. A friend of mine taught me a bunch of latex tricks to do and I sorta want to experience. My Halloween mask-making endeavors have been pitiful. I'll see if I can scratch something together.

  6. Your masks are gorgeous. I love arts and crafts! Sounds like fun! Rob and I said that once we get our own place, we are hosting card night. Bring on the blackjack! Poker, anyone? We will have people over and you'd better be one of them. :D