What are some of the things you do to add to your misery or overall discontent? Are these bad habits ingrained in us or is it possible to change the knee-jerk reactions we have all come to accept within ourselves?
"Don't promise when you are happy."
This is simple. Ever remember yourself telling someone you were going to love them "forever"? I do! Usually after a 3 hour session of blissfull, sweaty, insanely-passionate DNA swapping. It's easy to want to give someone or promise someone the world when you are content and generally feeling pretty damn good about them. Try promising those same things after catching them in bed with someone else, finding out they just stole $500 from you, or processing that their ex is pregnant with their baby. Still feeling good about making those same promises? Yeah, I didn't think so. Anyway, we all know that kind acts should be KIND ACTIONS, and not just Kind Words. If you really want to do something good because you feel good; then just do it. You shouldn't regret being kind to someone, even if they turn out to be complete assholes at the end of the day. Save the good deed in the Karmic Bank and forget about it. You'll get your comeuppance when the time is right. When you promise something, you're giving your word, and putting your integrity on the line.Your word is only as good as your last broken promise...no matter how good the reason is for you to break it.
"Don't reply when you are angry."
Guilty, again! I'm notorious for my quick temper and even quicker pressing of the "reply" button- be it via text or email or voicemail or face-to-face retort. I've had some regrets in my day for letting my hurt and rage reply to someone instead of letting my cooler head prevail. The thing is; usually we are hurt the deepest by those we truly love and sometimes the pain can cause that knee to jerk up higher and harder to bash those fuckers in the balls faster than you can stop yourself. Underneath it all, no one wants to hurt someone they love. And if you think about it, you have all the ammo to do it. It doesn't make it right. I've learned to TRY and walk away when my temper is threatening to unleash Hell. I've destroyed plenty of relationships and obliterated countless bridges with my temper, only to see myself tearfully trying to make an apology for it later on. But, the thing is, even though it was RIGHT for those relationships to end, I didn't need to do it with all the nuclear forces my heart has been hoarding. When you're done eating, you take your dishes to the sink, wash them off, and put them away. You don't smash them into bits and pieces in a violent declaration that "I'M DONE EATING MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!" See the difference? There is a way to handle situations that don't involve telling people what kind of infectious disease you think they are or how you hope their testicles get fried on a live wire in the seat heater of their car. You can THINK it, but why put that poison to paper in the heat of the moment? This is the one I take to heart the hardest- Don't snap back in anger.
"Don't decide when you are sad."
I had to think about this one for a moment. In my case, I've made some of the best decisions while taking a vacation in the pits of depression. I've purged many items, tossing out stupid mementos and keepsakes that were only taking up room and shackling me to my sadness. I think sometimes people do brash things in the midst of emotional turmoil. I've had more than one bad haircut because I was desperate to shed the skin of woe. I guess it means to have your cry, wait it out, and think with a clear head before doing anything too harsh or deciding on any major decisions. When it's all over, you don't want to have a house full of junk, an empty bank account, and a wallet full of maxed out credit cards- all because you tried to buy your sadness away. Or maybe they mean that in the midst of sadness, one can be fairly apathetic to anything. "What do you want to eat today?" I don't care. "What colors should we paint the rooms?" Whatever. "Do you want to move to Jersey or Canada?" Doesn't matter. You decide. I guess I've fallen into this rut, too. All in all, I think this part just means to not let your depression route your map for you. That's the best I can do with that one.
One of my favorite sayings when I read something I need to apply to my own life is: "I should have that tattooed on me somewhere."
If that's the case, I'd have a body full of tattooed post-it notes!