Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A Humbling Adventure

Let's just be straight. V-Day is ONLY enjoyable when you're actually IN LOVE or part of a healthy, happy, fun relationship. The only other time it's fun is when you're having a single-ladies night with drinks, dinner, and dancing. You're not really alone when you're surrounded by people in the same type of mood for fun.

With that being said, I had my choice of options for Vday. Since none of my gentleman callers are really in the "keeper" pile, I didn't think it was morally right to accept their invites. I made plans to hit up a movie and grab some Red Robin with a friend of mine weeks ago, and that was more than enough for me.

I forgot about the movie and Red Robin. Mini Cooper called me out of the blue over the weekend while I was doing some fondant work and he caught me off gaurd.

"Hey, stranger. Long time no see!"

You mean since Mini Man drove me home in his Mini Coop and tried to hen peck me with his mini lips? Not long enough!

"I'm going to be in the city on Tuesday. Got plans?"

Damn, why was I so snarky to this guy? Casual drinks won't hurt.

"Umm, I don't think I have plans. I guess I can meet up after work,"

"I can't believe someone like you doesn't have plans on Vday! I lucked out! I'll send you the restaurant info later. 8pm ok with you?"

Wait! What??? Vday? Son of a bitch!!!

I really can't lie my way out of a paper bag. When I'm caught; fuck, I'm caught. Great. I get to spend one of the most romantic nights of the year with someone who makes me feel the exact opposite of romantic. I should have just gone with one of my B-Buddies for a nice dinner and a happy ending dessert. Son of a bitch!!

After working my ass off Sunday and Monday night, by the time Tuesday rolled around I was feeling like a walking corpse. I had hand dipped three hundred strawberries. I frosted and sprinkled 200 cupcakes. I iced and pipe-decorated four large cakes. I was fucking tired. TIRED, I TELL YOU!!

Oh, and my Red Robin and movie buddy called to let me know he had a date and would be spending the better part of the night making sure he got laid. Can't fault the man for honesty.

On top of that insane work schedule, my mother and I had a huge fight Vday morning because she was trying to bogart ALL the dipped strawberries left over after I had my orders filled. I had planned on bringing some to work and leaving a few for my dad to take to work; something he does every Vday. However, I came down into my Dungeon to see my mom dumping tray-fulls of decorated berries into an unlined sheet cake box. I popped my top and had it out with her.

I did my route of scheduled deliveries and even sold extra boxes of  cupcakes and strawberries I made just for the moron who bought his mate NOTHING and was now panicked. I made a nice wad of cash; nearly enough to buy my brother's birthday gift.

By noon, I was dragging. My back hurt. I could barely keep my eyes open. I was shaking because it was becoming more and more difficult to keep warm. I wasn't hungry. I didn't want a free dinner with Mini Coop. I just wanted to crawl home, slink naked into my bed, and sleep like the dead.

Then, came the text:

Mini Coop: "Hey! I'm running late at work. I may not be able to make 8."
Me: "That's ok. Let's scrap it. I'm about to pass out anyway."
Mini Coop: "Oh, poor baby." (URGH...Puh-leaze!!!!) "Let's postpone for next week. This weekend if you're free."
Me: "Sorry, I'm booked. My only night off was tonight. Well, take care!"

He sent another text a couple of hours later, wishing me a Happy Vday. I didn't reply. He sent me a new text this morning, with a picture of a Mardi Gras mass produced "King Cake" with the caption, "Competition of yours? ;)"

Um, no, you asshat. I don't know why I'm so angrily intolerant of this person's food ignorance. I'm not this judgmental of my friends. I think it's because I was so damn specific about the kind of guy I want to end up with, and this man does NOT fit any of those specifications.

Anyway, by the end of the dreaded VDay, I was feeling very unlovable and bitter. But, then it all started flooding in- emails, texts, FB posts.....All the thank you's.

Even though I had a pretty boring day by my standards, all my hard work paid off because these people enjoyed my pastries. It may sound silly after I spent all this time ranting about my shitty decisions for the day, but the fact that all these couples ended their day with my sweets really made me feel good.

I may not have been the one wined and dined and fucked into oblivion last night- but I was part of their special holiday anyway. And I guess it's true- We all have our purpose.

I'd put up pics, but I'm too lazy. So, here are links instead:
I made a lot more stuff than what I ended up taking pictures of. What can I say, time is my enemy and a camera is not always handy when you're running late.....yet  again.

S.A.D. Cupcakes

Lauren & Bryan's Make-Up Wedding Cake Topper

Vday Sweets (coming tomorrow)


  1. Let me be the asshole who points out some gaping contradictions, my dear.

    Was it not you who sang the praises of a kinder, more open, loving Zen Master. void of all negativity and snark?

    What's this I read about Mini Coop (a man who doesn't even get the courtesy of being called by his actual name) and his mini attributes and your inability to be straight forward by letting him know you're just not into him???

    Why the bitterness on Day of Manufactured Affections? You once wrote a very compelling piece detailing and defending the right to celebrate the Day of Love when you're in love. Why not be happy for those around you who have found The ONe???

    You're telling me that a couple of thank you's turned your whole life around? Really???

    1. Do you really need my permission to "let" you be the asshole?

      Being kinder and more zen-like has nothing to do with falling into a bad mood when you're tired. I don't think there's anything written down that says we all can't have our off-days.

      Never underestimate the power of shared appreciation. One 'thank you' can go a very long way.

  2. I'm feeling you & I have hit a rough patch in our relationship.

  3. Next V-day you should just pretend it's halloween, walking around like a zombie and asking for candy. But the cake looks beautiful and the cupcakes were awesome!

    1. I was happy to sleep. I was so exhausted. Thanks for the compliment! ;-)